mum and dad can sometimes be the irrationalism of all problems
the things they retrict are probably the very ones that i really adore.
come due times..
when i feel so useless..mum and dad are the two souls i can rely on..
forget how i misbehave in the past
remembering all the suavity they gave to me..when i gave nothing back..they forget that too..
retribution has always been absent for their part.
cuz to them unfair punishment and verbal abuse to their own children,
is un-necessary/unworthy to educate us..
where love is..
but theres consideration to that lahz of cause..
we young people need to be reminded most of the time right..
i am fond of them..
i really do..

and someone is really happy today..
the happiness-cum-craziness had actuali infected me..haha
just when im ill..
you just lightened up my day
you thanked me..but i should be one to thank you instead..
i appreciate it..

i learnt something..morally that is..

i always thought wise sayings are just there to give people courage.
which has always been the case..
but some are there for a reason or lesson to us..
cause something happen in the morning of today..
i'm afraid things are gonna be a mess in the next few days..
maby..definately..

you have to sacrifice some things to desire for another..
as of tonight..its just started depressing..

sex..

it was the very first conversation i overheard when i got to work the other day.
kinda weird..but those "40year-old" technicians have probably been deprived of it..
haha..i shall keep my comments to myself.

its the very common illustration between excitement and adrenaline rush..
pardon me..but for most "young" people..i think its "curiosity"..dont get too involved yet..hehe
dirty.dirty.
subjective as it may seem..i have a good feeling its not as sinistic as it may sound..
love may or may not be in the right reason or so..
but whose to blame when its a two way traffic pleasured by both..
no wonder pre-marital sex is on the rise..
lack of moral or not..im not sure..un conserved maby..
its like..most of the wise folks might say.. you need not have sex to love..
but i say..
you need not love to have sex..
get it?
hahaha..

ive just realised...all this has come close to about ninety-five..
the thought of it just tickles this heart of mine..haha
yup...only 5 before a decade of gruel post and insubstantial rants bout my low weeded life..
its been years..but i dont regard myself as a blogger..
nope not at all..

i dont spam my blog with tons of vain pictures..
i dont record every single details the things i happen to do..
as a matter of fact..no one realli cares about the way you woke up..or till you close your goddamn eyes..
i dont compose a 1000 essay for a single post..
i dont write grandmother stories..
i dont intend to inform eveyone what ive been up to..its your choice to understand it..
and i dont post for a "10 year old" to read..
of which i found in abundance scattered throughout the blogger world..

i hate people who enact the way i write..seriously..
a despisely imitating copycat is the last thing i want to be breathing down my neck..
those who has no idea of their own..
and those whose choice of words are still at an amature level..
they have nothing but to impersonate ones who they know is IQ-ly superior..
you cant hide..i could see right through in between those lines you wrote..
if you think your tyring too hard..i say just quit it..it doesnt work..
it wont change the fact that you feel humiliated for reality sake.

have you ever had moments when you wished you could just stopped time..
that instantaneous second where one click of the watch will takes ages to act..

yup..

that moment was today..
just when the eyes feels like closing..

"procrastination is the thief of time.."
thats how the saying usually goes..
applying it to the so called arrangement of my life??..i guess not...
procrastination is and will be the foolish act redeemed for a very long time in my life..
sometimes i need to do a sanity check once in a while..
and i do get out of sticky situations whether they like it or not..
otherwise..hmm..
im probably happy otherwise..haha
im satisfied with the way things are..

"liberty first..then work..."
that is the philosophy ive been adapting all this years..
preferbly..i'd like to reward myself with some fun stuffs before i get into serious assingment shit..
i consider assignments as burden..thats why its so hard to tackle this habit..
i have a report due today..technically..
but considering the fact that my eyes are already halfway through slumberness..
best bet..?? i'll end up snoring the hell out from my nose..haha
lets see what happens..
superheroes dont give up that easily..keke..

my fav song at the momment..
i like her..
she's pretty..
hehe

haven't i told you before that somehow i find myself indulging in emo songs now..
i would rather slump into my couch..strumming the guitar to a soothing tune..
after a long day at work..its pretty sensual if you ask me..
and nope..im not singing along just because im "emo-ing"..
im singing it loud just to ease the mind off..
sometimes..i even play it on a loop on my mp3 and went off to sleep..
hehe..

and apparently few of them got stucked in my head..
one of which is currently playing at the background..
like i said..dont get me wrong..
im not that type of person that'll go drown in my emotions whenever i listen to one of those..
the lyrics dont aggravate me..
just the calm melody that never fails to "resonate" this empty house.
yup..i like..

and chris's exit is just cruel bias-ness..
americans probably vote not because of talent..but popularity sake..

i have always known that i had the slightest bit of impulsiveness towards certain groups of people..
i tend to look down on them when i see myself at a higher advantage..
despise maby..but i like to think im far superior in terms of intellectual wise..
i might not be the smartest of my kind..haha..
but i see these people as nothing more than a fringe of dust they could offer..

i wanna see them drown in their own tattoos..
i wanna see them suffocate in their pest control van..rentokil..keke
i wanna see them get bald the next time they dye their hair blonde..
i wanna see them in cold turkey after every puff of cigarette..
i hope to see them sweeping leafs off the roads of singapore 20 years down the road..
haha

i think the country have plenty enough of "them" around am i right??
i shall not acquire any unpleasant label to them..
although their popularity is overwhelming in the streets and the night disco lights..
and as of now..i may assume that they are busily riding away on their bicycle which kinda suits better to the usual 2 wheel transport for apeks to the early market..
one fine day if god forgiving..i would eccentrically burn those m*****f***ing bicycles down to ashes..

after what they tried to immorally and criminally project my bike..
nope..they deserve alot worse...

there are times when i think you dont know me at all...
but then...
there are times when i think you know me better than anyone..
i guess you can never be too sure of someone's interior goodwill to the people around them..
its more appropriate not to judge..then having to question their intentions
i would preferbly go with the former..
since ive been surrounded by people that practices open conversation,
im afraid of losing that trust..

as of lately ive been reminded over and over again that im a source of laughter..
one that brings the fun out of people..
quoted by friends
seriously..i don't intend to anyway or anyhow..
maby i misunderstood them..maby i am a source that needs to be laughed at..
haha..apparently im happy enough for happy people around me..
i think i need a scrap off my boyish acts..
i need to get serious for once..you know..wake up my bloody idea..
for reality sake...im turing a BIG 2.0. in two months time..
haiz...

so PAP won majority of the seats...what fuck..a clear cliche in every election isint it..
i wouldnt have to turn on the news to nail this in my head..
its not like ive learn something new everyday..hah
i bet the only word that has ever come out (too often) from their mouth is...
"upgrading"???
bleaAa...**
tell me..isint there any more they could ever possibly do..
like "free parking for bikes" "organise gigs" "more jamming rooms" "having more lepakzZz corner"
haha...
i really dont see myself stuck in a job which has anything to do with politics...

and ive been sick..really really sick today..
my nose going runny..my head spins..my temperatures off charts..
6 tablets of panadol didnt do any goody..
i blame my mum for this..she knew im sensitive to dust..still she persist..
its ok..both my folks has yet to comprimise with their GPM assets on me..
money money money...ke-ching!!

and happy birthday to you..!!
18 and encounting..lifts up a great barrier for you isinit..??
freedom waiting..clubbing shall not wait up too..haha
dont waste it..dont get too cocky either..
take care...

"insanely insecure"
thats my special word just for today
almost every single day is as significant as another..so its fair to say today was a wee-bit different..
as though im suffering from an impartial twist of emotion..
one minute i was happy...
the next..im mad..
in time..frustrations overwhelming the thought that seeks to find peace in my mind..
while all these emotions goes on a roller coaster ride..
the story goes on and on...twitching every single point..
end the end of the day..i fell victim to a guilty consciousness to myself and to the people around me..

oh what a day today..
can i just have a message on my back? someone please??
the strain on my back is killing me...
i'll pay dont worry...
haha

its frustrating when i cant get a certain piece of clothing..
ive spent few hours searching..hoping that a shop out there from the dozens, might show mercy on me..
but nooooo....none of them even sell those kinds..
shit piece of shit..
i end up making a new pair of specs..
those nerdy ones that makes ur face look slumber but intelligent at the same time..hehe

speaking of clothes..i didnt even realize u had a BBAD* shirt in the first place oh dear bitch*..
and im clueless to what im suppose to fill in those blanks..
my first thoughts? "ha-ha-ha"??
hehe..
care to give me a hint?

i have a fetish for listening to sappy love songs lately..
no idea why...but it seems to soothes the mind when im in deep thoughts contemplating in my own free will dream land..
questions like "what if" and "what will" came to the picture...
its seems almost as if im still not satisfied with everything i had now..haha..
but im not changing anything nope not at all..
what goes on in the mind is not always what im desiring to be..
its just a second reality dream from a prelude ride to conclusion of a story...my life story
as we all know...life is full of choices...
and this is idea of a story of "what ifs" and "what will" if i happen to make choices blessed by my blissful ignorance instead of my heart..hmmm..
im gonna leave with a small piece of lyrical chorus from a song im working on currently..
its a compose creation of a friend..
im not sure if thats her life story in between those lines..
no questions asked..im just helping her out..
i hope she'll find what she's looking for..yup
here it goes..
...
Tiba tiba ku rasa cinta
Bila dia meminta maaf ku untuknya
Namun bila ku melihatnya
Pelik aneh ku rasa yang tak pernah ku rasai

Namun dia berpunya, pada insan berpura
Tidak pernah ku suka cara cara nya
Ingin ku mengatakan apa yang ku rasakan,
keberatan

Ya tuhan ku gerakkan hati nya
Untuk mencintai aku hanya aku saja
Meskinya pun dia kan menolak
Namun sungguh aku takkan dapat melupakan dia