shitfuck dammit. guess i already expected it huh.

just to fail one yahz...

but not three...!!! erghh..

school sucxs.

now i have to go through another grueling six more months

hah. look on the bright side.

im not alone.

friends are just as stupid as me.

see ya'll again in the same old lecture room with the same old lecturer

and all the same old same old. haiz.

this is...

[MY FIRST LESSON]

the stage...

the guitars...

im not ok for sure but
didnt know the others were ermmm.. "seriously NOT OK"
hah. erghhh.

a pic to end it off...nice...


everything goes well in the song and on the stage

except for that one crucial momment that maby got us tipped off.

the other bands were older and much matured adults.

we're probably the youngest and sickest jackass band there. hah.

i think age and experience was the key.

we never had that..i think.

nevertheless, youth and time is on our side aint it true.

what matters is we're okay and we had fun.

rock on.

conceived and born was one of light

rain and dark,

the other was born black night...

...the one of light...

i've come here to kill you

wont leave until you've died

murder born of vengence

i closed my brother's eyes

...tonight...

far away in this land i must go

out of the sight of the one

a punishment sent from his hand

a hardship that no one should know

now go out of this site of the one

away in this land you must go...

-------------------------------------------------------

these part-lyrics are lingering in my head now

i just hope i dun forget them when im on the stage

two days of singing and strumming the guitar...

my fingers blistering and my throat hurts

i should get some rest to recuperate

before i lose my voice..

today's our big day

i dun wanna spoil it

wish us luck

here it goes...

the one and only person who could take

away the sadness and misery is

no one except for

the One who's reading this...

-------------------------------------------------------

forgive and forget is what this is all about

give us another chance

i'll love you without any doubt

so please, just this once...

-------------------------------------------------------

please dont fight anymore

cuz im tired..

please let us be like

old times before...

-------------------------------------------------------

together or not, steadies or not

May I Ask, Who Cares??

lets take a path down this lonely road

with full of hope...

-------------------------------------------------------

as long as we are a company

as long as we are happy

as long as we have each other

i think thats how it was meant to be...

-------------------------------------------------------

smile with me

laugh with me

touch with me

and we'll see how our lives gonna be...

-------------------------------------------------------

i've took the time , the sweat, the pain

to write to you in the rain

shall i fight for what i think is right

and shall i try to forget what hurts inside...

-------------------------------------------------------

end of chapter 3 of 4

we're pretty excited about it

whose not?

especially when Top Band Competition is just 2 days away.

really nerve wrecking..

-------------------------------------------------------

still cant believe we named ourselves [My First Lesson] hah.

the simplest of the stupidest. suits us i guess.

too bad last min one of us [anuar] cant join.

its ok bro. next time huh.

we've found a replacement drummer for you.

-------------------------------------------------------

its a new band with new faces.

we onli had one single day to gel up. and i think

we did pretty good for that single day.

my respect for my new band members! they're one

of the few talented people i know of.

they're extra-odin-naairre'

i believe we'll make it far...

.

selamat hari raye!! hah!

girl wat a surprize that i actually kept all your things huh?
for a second there you would probably assume i've thrown the
artworks, the cards & most importantly the letters.
i knew it took more than just ur precious time and
hardwork just to write them down the deep feelings inside of you.
i knew. i could see it in every single letter.
i also knew for a second that u thought i didnt care or
appreciate every single thing you sent me.
well sorry to say i did.

-------------------------------------------------------
and btw, that previous entry wasn't meant for you my dear
old ex-bitch. it was meant for sum1 else whom i think
deserves my every and outmost heartfelt cries.
for god sake please, think! why on earth
would i ever shed a tear for you? for nothing precisely.
i never did
i wont
and i will never
not just yet.

-------------------------------------------------------
after i finish posting these poems you sent me.
im going to do for you a little favour.
just a little.
just to repay the favour you did for me.
so please dont be surprised again k? k...

-------------------------------------------------------
niwae..
selamat hari raye to you too..

i dont know if you understand

that i need someone to hold my hand

or maybe you're scared or blind to see

that this wasn't how it was meant to be...

-------------------------------------------------------

losing you shall not i choose

loving you, shall what i do

waiting for you, shall now i stop...

-------------------------------------------------------

my heart was opened

but soon it maybe it'll be closed

depends on you

before a decision which has to be chose...

-------------------------------------------------------

i want you to decide, to tell me to be satisfied

to decide - whether you're going to be satisfied

to tell - what you have decided

to be satisfied - for what you have told me...

-------------------------------------------------------

mistakes are meant to be learned

mistakes are meant to be made

regrettes are never to be gathered

regrettes will never fade

-------------------------------------------------------

to have a crush on someone is an average feeling

to like that someone is a good feeling

to love that someone is a great feeling

to love and be loved is a wonderful feeling...

-------------------------------------------------------

right this momment

i've this wonderful feeling

polluted with sadness and misery...

-------------------------------------------------------

end of chapter 2 of 4

.
inspired letters

Dearest ----,

you stepped into my life

as a stranger before a friend...

-------------------------------------------------------

we've got our problems

with our own partners

and yet you hang around the corners

to help me go through them...

-------------------------------------------------------

the relationship of ours

did they end but

we stayed as friends as

nothing more or nothing less...

-------------------------------------------------------

you shared your stories

and i shared mine

all the ups and downs

are still fresh in my mind...

-------------------------------------------------------

how you love me was unnoticeable

and how i love you was indescribeable

how we longed for each other to be

together was unbearable...

-------------------------------------------------------

Frustated, Depressed,

we threw our anger on each other

from the smallest things or matters

do we argue with one another

all this because we cant be together...

-------------------------------------------------------

even after i've tried

you choose to live up to your ego

you left me to cry

but still you never let it go...

-------------------------------------------------------

end of chapter 1 of 4

a 4-part poem written on the

13th of march 2002 02 30 Hrs

by *******

[protected identity]

im not okay

i already said what i needed to tell.

she already knew what she needed to know.

i already did what i could.

but i didnt did enough dont i?

this is the second time u made me

break down into tears. no one ever did.

so thats it huh. thats just it.

im not okay.