of all the good things ive done in my life...
of all the joy brought to the ones around me...
sometimes i guess i may have done the right things..
in some occasions, i may even make blind assumptions..
taking the privilage to an extended distance..
not knowing..unconscientiously mistaken...
for the ones i have held so dearly on to...
will eventually be the ones that greatly is deceiving...
yes i am sick...
yes im not in a healthy state..
but i have every intentions to make it right again...
i tried many ways to reach out deep inside..
and everytime i do...
its that cold anaesthasia tt keeps hauting me back...
its that condemnation against all i stood for...

i dont understand why a single incident should be judge so unfairly,

compared to the sacrifices that has long been taken to no considerations.
despite all...
the optimism hope for a good cause has kept me sane...
and for once..for the first time..
i felt insecure...

& the need for assurance...
if my greatest fears should ever come to reality...
thats the point in time where catastrophic sets in..

and possibly the scar incurable for life.

im not okay...

every year..there's probably a special day in our lives..

a day to spent timeless momments..

or a day to get sabo-ed and laugh it all out..

nonetheless..just a day to be remembered...

and mine...

is today!!

hah!

and that day was probably the celebrating day wif frenz.

yupz..now i know how it feels like to have ur whole body mushed up with cakes.

and going home feeling like an idiot with the choc cake stains all over..

haiz...hehe

the pizzaSsS were perfect...

the oh-so-expensive-bill-i-had-to-pay-by-myself was perfect..

hah.

the cake was perfect.

the present was perfect.

the ppl who came were perfect.

my dearie was perfectly gorgeous.

and everything else is perfect in its own way.

just wanna say thanks to eveyone who made it happen.

but one thing ive learn...

that u dont ever wear a purple underwear..

just dont!! trust me...

haha

its just a special momment...

its as speechless as i was, as soon i read those werds you wrote.

its that genuine smile on the face when those thoughts came to my mind.

and how so crystally clear its becoming that it has always been you.

its you who made this dream.

this fantasy.

but sometimes i wonder if ive/you're exposed too much.

the things tt should be kept disclosed.

like some cookies which are better left untouched in the jar.

hehe.

and when the time comes when all is being indulged...im afraid tt there will be nothing else to look foward to.

nothing more to crave for.

and the real reason behind it is far away from reality.

amidst all these..

im still extremely eccentric we're still there.

still over the moon. hah.

and not a single disagreement till now.

in time..one wont surely make no diff rite? rite..

yupz..

happy.anxious.

still waiting for the results.

i cant wait to see my face in the papers..

haha.

just hope and pray shall i...