i came across this quote
im not all becoming a lovey dovey guy excuse me..?
but somehow rather..i find it pretty interesting..& factually amusing..
hehe..
go read..

When you love someone you must not expect anything in return for if you do,
you're not loving but investing.
If you love you must accept pain,
If you expect happiness your not loving but using.

true not true?
subjective la horz..hehe
at times..i wonder off questioning ones who have bad experiences in lurve life..
and they'll get utterly upset saying life's not fair..so on and so forth..
although im in no position to judge them or even myself..
but i can sufficely say i understand the reason why people tend to hypothesize falling in lurve to be the same as keeping the love..
its two totally different perception iymfk

sometimes you'll need to live long enough to understand this..

iymfk = if you must freaking know..hehe

!! and someone has been hijacking the papers in the office..dammit!!

i dreamt about being a singer..
a friend dreamt about being an actress..
my pikachu gameboy dreamt about being a pokemon master..!!
it really does!! haha..
my point is..when dreams fall into a time where it is considered as a fantasy..
thats the time you pinch me hard..wake me up from this blardy childish behaviour..haha

btw..i read i naughty book yesterday..!!
shHhHhHhH

sometimes i wonder what entertains me most at work.
the thought of having my own desk and computer and surfing internet and chatting away with the best friend?
or get bullied by the senile older techinicians who are obviously deprived of sex..
hehe..i'll probably go with the former..

suddenly i have the fetish for macdonald's apple pie!!!
anyone care to join me?

BAYBEATS2006 was one hell where my body aches for mosh pits and wild bodysurfing!
i knew i was addicted.. have been and always will..
someday i'll be up there with the fav Love Me Butch, Plain Sunset etc..
and i'll prolly wont be surprized if i see friends do what i did on the both days..haha..wicked..
someday just someday..
for now..
FUCK SECURITY!!!

have you ever had moments...
when the heart is so fragile..
when feelings are sometimes too harsh for it to contain them all together

have you ever had memories...
when the mind is so weak..
when it breaks down at the slightest bit of tragical emotions

have you ever had times..
when the body feels so much under pressure..
when you just wanna burst into tears no matter how hard these eyes try to hold them back

have you ever had someone..
a person you held so high..
a companion who has always been by your side..
a mortal soul closest to your heart..
and a vow to finally come for us to part..

when moments, memories and times stands still as i watch someone drift away..
i ask myself again..
must i ever have?

i sang a song for a girl..
something which i find myself at the brink of "insanity"..hehe..
one of the few which makes me feel weeely*weeely small..
and nope..the idea wasn't mine..!

its funny what i tell friends nowadays..
yesh probably my mouth cant seem to stop..
but this gut feeling has been doing the talking which many would find it un-logically sensible?
doesn't mean im a "small" guy i dont have big dreams f.y.i..
cuz all he ever feel now..
all he ever dream about..
and all he ever talk about..
is that im going to marry a superstar one day!! yea..

just how ego things can be rite..?! hah
"wink*wink*

am seriously thinking of changing the name "Due West"
the unplesant sound of a hiphop-wanna-be poser kinda thingy..
yet already a name of a country genre band..
sometimes i hate to say this but its always been a pleasure to irritate someone..
"there!..i told you so..!"
haha..
Devine Wonder sounds nice? you think?

there comes a time when crucial situation requires sane choices..
and when logical priorities clash upon trust and boundaries..

im sure those two lines means nothing to everyone else..
but the matter of fact is..i screwed up..
ive made an irrational decision which i'll probably live to remember and regret
hurting you is the last sin i'll ever want to do..
hearing* your cries are my worse guilt which i can never forgive myself for anymore..

i am truly sorry for things ive said which ive said..
even though everythings alright now..
and you might have gotten over it and forgive me..
right at this momment..im more than delighted..
but there is still this sense of remorse still lingers deep inside..

kick me..strangle me..drown me..
picit punat or watever..
something to make it go away..hehe..
but i dont want you to go away..
and i dont want to turn back time please..? =)

thanks for everything..
you help me define the things i need to appreciate in this life..

*this tiny soul of mine still needs you*

its been awhile since i got a hand written letter..
its wouldnt be as ironic if i got them 10 years before..
but sometimes..
digital mails and shits-alike aren't able to potray the kind of real genuinity and sincerity like a letter would..
its something a digi-mail fail to interpret..
from the scribbles and slangs in the words..
i think one can actually sense the emotions/feelings expressed when the writer first wrote it.

i dunnoe but thats how i see them..
i used to have a fanatic snail-mail pal once..
its not that we're deprived of a handphone or internet..but its the process of writting one that intrigues me..
its how u lay on the bed with a pen in one hand and liquid paper on the other..
taking sooo long to start initially but you'll find yourself writting a 4 page letter without knowing when to stop..hehe
its also what you'll end up doing to those pappers..decorating them according to your moods..
and sometimes 'poems' just summarise up them all..

after almost 5 years..this is the first time ive received one so awkwardly..hehe

do take the time to read a letter..cuz it took a lot more time for the writer to write it..

someone had me puzzled..
cause i swore that someone actually said friday..
and im not sure whether to have that sense of guilt or remorse..
but i dont intend to hold grudges against anyone..
my apologise..its up to you to accept them..
after all..it wasnt my fault..
or was it..??

sometwo was definately pissing me off!!
i think is best for you to tugg away that emotionalised behaviour and take up anger management class..
you had me reminded of a movie..
"when do you get to that point where enough is enough??"
except this time round the answer wasn't "never"
instead that point already came just while ago..hehe
suckass!!!

somethree made me weeeely-weeeeely happy!!!
mabi i finally found a superhero's superhero!!..haha..
the thought of it sometimes bother me..
but i'll wave down any possibilities..
i shan't elaborate more..
except i miss that part where you questioned me..
its unlikely but i totally forgot..can i?? hah.
thanks again..

its one of those days where mixed feelings jumbled up to haunt you..
we dont want to let it get the better of us..
but one the other hand..its best if we learn something from it and let it slipped by..
on a high note it ended..
both the singing and the b.e.a.youtifool day..hehe
i really feel appreciated..
thanks..
give me a big 20 would ya everyone!!
happy.happy.

CARS???!!!
i guess its proven..
im seriously too old for this..
hahaha..

and please please please please treasure your family..
you'll never know how much they mean to you...

im never afraid of not sleeping..
but im terribly afraid of not waking up..
im never afraid of nightmares..
but im sure afraid if it turns into reality..

i've told someone i've changed..
i've told people i could care less about the things happening around me..
so i guess its true..
that everyone has their own secrets..
at times..this face could represent a mask..
while others just go on living, tagging along two or three personalities with them wherever they go..
its unexplainable..
but im sure its for good intentions even though no one knows except themselves..
probably the benefit of the doubt..

and mabi this is the story of why the superhero going MIA..
he's too old for this..hehe
happy birthday to the july cutie love ones..