forget what i said before...

i just love you...

my dearie..

disappointed.

thats the feeling as soon as i got off from my bed.

or is it devastated??

maby disheartened??

either way...none of which can make my day.

i dont know whose to blame..

i may be a really bad jerk..

but i fucking know where my faith and loyalties lie...

thats in you...

its been awhile...

but having another companion never once crossed my mind..

now i really began to question myself..

who am i to you??

and sometimes..

i just hate followers!!!

you noe who you are..

cuz you people are starting to sound like me...

i noe its a free speech world..

but its just soooo blooody obnoxious!!!

maby you people are just confined in the head.

try something new next time can..

mORonS...

and ya..

i need a new layout..

any kind souls out there to lend an idea...

sometimes these minds plays tricks on you..

sometimes those smiles and smirks can meszmerise you..

just once is enough to encharmed the paradise in my head..

hah.

but still i dont understand the need for those sturny eyes that once freaked the sh** out of me.

still again..

i think i can forgive and forgwet...

looking at how people are talking..

but its cristal clear aint it..

aaa..

who cares...

an awkward time it is...

probably a little childish to abandon what i held on so dearly...

something delicate which i think im taking for granted..

and probably...

i'll get a bullshit and fuck you right at my face..

at the end of the day...

this ailing heart keeps crying you back..

and like i said..

your my ecstasy

hah.

no matter how tainted it can be..

its still addictive..

and before anything happens..

i would like to apologise for days yet to come..

cuz i wont be there for you for another week...

im going away from here...

i hope you'll forgive me..

but rest assured that its not goodbye..

not ever i wont...

so please...

i need you to bear with me..

i promise we'll row that boat together k..

and our life may not be a dream..

its a fantasy...

we'll make that happen...

i love you still...

i do...

have you ever had that feeling that someone..

somewhere out there..

somehow in some ways..

have that inner feelings for you..??

and when we try to deny as hard as we could..

it keeps bugging us in the most oddest of times..

some see as a blessing..

others sees as an "opportunity"...

a dirty one that is...hah.

nonetheless...

right this momment i feel like im caught in between bad chemistry.

one hand i already have an angel who i dearly love...

on the other..

i cant erase the pitiness towards thy.

honesty is and has always been my first priority.

its only right that i relent my true climate of opinions

towards both..

like all problems and dilemma...

only time can heal the cold dispute..

for being that sane being...

i'll reward myself with something...

something special...

hah...

5 months passed..

closed to ages it seems...

sometimes the need for a new beginning is inevitable

maby..

the peak of my stance is starting to caught up...

interest and passion that i once self-proclaimed

already deviates away largely as expected...

and maby..

i have the "thing" for other stuffs like bikes and other

purposes rather than this.

just maby...

im a little old for blogging.

this entry is written purly out of boredom and ignorant woos.

nevertheless..

its not at all wroong to finish off where i left.

so here it is again...

shall i begin?