the last day...

im definately not okay rite at the moment.

there's this portion of me feeling hysterical at leaving..
weeeee....^%$!*$#%&
after almost 6 months..it does feel great.
its like this shoulders of mine was just given a good tense rub from an angel..!! hehe
and to have that amazing sense of achievement after long hiatus...?
its just plesurizing every second of it...!

still..a part of me doesnt want to end..
i feel as if i dont intend to go back to school.

a friend was actualli wondering why..
i told her im gonna miss the werking life.
im gonna miss waking up early in the morning..
and to come back home, to know you are too dead tired to do anything else.
that sounds awful.
but it is an inevitable picture of your future aint it?
i do want to work.
i want to have responsibilities.
i want to face the world realising that i have an important job at hand.
i want grow up and be a part of something great..
where risk and challenges are just the small problems of a big jigsaw puzzle..
a life's puzzle.
i want to leave that childish carefree attitude behind that has instilled me for the last 20 years.
i want to say goodbye to that.
im trying.

reality scares.
tomorows analytical. probably still predictable.
but the future bewilders more than anyone can apprehend..

my priorities have changed.
its the people around whom ive affected most.
i hope they'll understand.